Hey, guys. I told you I'd be back! Just not on the regular for a while still...
So I'm dealing with two separate problems that are quite related. First off, I'm in excruciating pain. All. The. Time. Now, this actually isn't necessarily unusual for me. With my health and skeletal problems, I've been in relatively constant pain for a very, very long time. Hence the back surgery at like 21 years old. My back problems are degenerative, though, so it will never get better...only worse (unless science makes a ridiculous discovery). Anyway, that brings us to today. I'm in more pain now than I was before surgery, and it's constant. Of course, the intensity fluctuates but it's always there. Surgery is not an option and because the pain is so bad, I'm seeing a new pain management guy next month. But how do you go through each day, pushing through pain, and not go mad?
This brings me to my second issue: support. Sure, friends and family can be sympathetic and offer help here and there...but I really need at least one parent who understands what it's like to push past the awful pain to take care of their kids. I made a suggestion on how to do this about a week ago but haven't heard back. I'm tempted to start something myself but I wouldn't know where to begin. Okay, that's a lie. I have a couple ideas but I would need to do some research first.
Just overwhelmed and feeling slightly alone and helpless...
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Monday, September 8, 2014
Mommy Update
Well, some things have been changing, for the better. It's actually pretty exciting.
A couple weekends ago, I spent the entire weekend with just the kiddo and me. We had so much fun! ...even though I was broke and we didn't leave the house. Let's just say I'm extremely resourceful. :D
Family dynamics are adjusting. I'm learning to not make assumptions about people based on their past; people change on a regular basis and I need to learn how to be more flexible and learn about the changes that people make and how those changes effect relationships (of all sorts). Family time has become even more important than it was already. Conscious efforts are being made to have legit conversations with my hubby and spend time with each other after the little one goes to bed. And not just the "how was your day?" or "can I get you a beer?" while staring at the TV together. We actually have interesting conversations. And even if only one of us is excited about the topic, the other one smiles and listens, excited that they're excited.
Another exciting thing is that I'm doing some more behind-the-scenes work at MomMeetMom.com :) I was originally the official editor for the blog. Now I'm being put to work editing another aspect of the website. And to top it off, I recently made a suggestion about having a section specifically for disabled moms. I'm not getting my hopes up (the woman that I spoke to had to discuss the idea with the other two founders)...but I definitely think it would be cool. Unless you've been there, you have no idea of the trials of being a disabled parents, especially a SAHM. So we'll see what happens.
So there's the scoop. :)
Until next time...
A couple weekends ago, I spent the entire weekend with just the kiddo and me. We had so much fun! ...even though I was broke and we didn't leave the house. Let's just say I'm extremely resourceful. :D
Family dynamics are adjusting. I'm learning to not make assumptions about people based on their past; people change on a regular basis and I need to learn how to be more flexible and learn about the changes that people make and how those changes effect relationships (of all sorts). Family time has become even more important than it was already. Conscious efforts are being made to have legit conversations with my hubby and spend time with each other after the little one goes to bed. And not just the "how was your day?" or "can I get you a beer?" while staring at the TV together. We actually have interesting conversations. And even if only one of us is excited about the topic, the other one smiles and listens, excited that they're excited.
Another exciting thing is that I'm doing some more behind-the-scenes work at MomMeetMom.com :) I was originally the official editor for the blog. Now I'm being put to work editing another aspect of the website. And to top it off, I recently made a suggestion about having a section specifically for disabled moms. I'm not getting my hopes up (the woman that I spoke to had to discuss the idea with the other two founders)...but I definitely think it would be cool. Unless you've been there, you have no idea of the trials of being a disabled parents, especially a SAHM. So we'll see what happens.
So there's the scoop. :)
Until next time...
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Eating Disorder Recovery Mission - update
Just an update:
Things are kinda crazy...but in a good way! Consistently working with www.MomMeetMom.com, including an awesome upcoming project!
Not a lot of traffic with my eating disorder project, but that takes time. Once the website is up and running, and I get more exposure, hopefully I'll be able to help more people
ALL COMPLETELY FREE SERVICES:
-educational classes for all types and ages of groups
-assistance finding recovery-related information, including treatment centers and support groups for families
-blog, giving information on eating disorders, guest blogs, and more
-monthly newsletter
-special request services
Keep up with the stuff going on:
Blog - edrecoverymission. blogspot.com
Facebook - www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=350552878444519
Twitter - @myedmission
Interested in one of the services? Email me at edrecoverymission@gmail.com
Much love!
Things are kinda crazy...but in a good way! Consistently working with www.MomMeetMom.com, including an awesome upcoming project!
Not a lot of traffic with my eating disorder project, but that takes time. Once the website is up and running, and I get more exposure, hopefully I'll be able to help more people
ALL COMPLETELY FREE SERVICES:
-educational classes for all types and ages of groups
-assistance finding recovery-related information, including treatment centers and support groups for families
-blog, giving information on eating disorders, guest blogs, and more
-monthly newsletter
-special request services
Keep up with the stuff going on:
Blog - edrecoverymission. blogspot.com
Facebook - www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=350552878444519
Twitter - @myedmission
Interested in one of the services? Email me at edrecoverymission@gmail.com
Much love!
Thursday, August 21, 2014
My Mission
Well, surprise, surprise: I've taken on too many projects. So this blog will be put on the back burner. It will stay up so that others can read it. Also, I may update every once in a while...but definitely not every day, as before.
My prominent project at the moment is my Eating Disorder Recovery Mission. It is my goal to educate as many people as possible about eating disorders, their dangers, and the long term
- sometimes deadly - effects. I want to share my personal experiences of battling an eating disorder and watching others fight it, too. Education is the key to prevention.
I also want to help those who are overwhelmed with information. In the middle of discovering that someone you love has an eating disorder, all of the info out there can be difficult to sort through. It's easier for someone who is not personally involved, and is aware of the system, to find treatment centers, dieticians, and even support groups for family and friends.
My new blog will feature daily information on eating disorders, tips for talking about eating disorders, interviews, guest blogs, and more! A website is in the works for advertising the services I offer. The site and blog will work together to educate and spread the word.
Wish me luck!
My prominent project at the moment is my Eating Disorder Recovery Mission. It is my goal to educate as many people as possible about eating disorders, their dangers, and the long term
- sometimes deadly - effects. I want to share my personal experiences of battling an eating disorder and watching others fight it, too. Education is the key to prevention.
I also want to help those who are overwhelmed with information. In the middle of discovering that someone you love has an eating disorder, all of the info out there can be difficult to sort through. It's easier for someone who is not personally involved, and is aware of the system, to find treatment centers, dieticians, and even support groups for family and friends.
My new blog will feature daily information on eating disorders, tips for talking about eating disorders, interviews, guest blogs, and more! A website is in the works for advertising the services I offer. The site and blog will work together to educate and spread the word.
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
To Cry or Not to Cry, That is the Question
A controversial topic has recently been brought up: should a parent let their child "cry it out?"
Let me start with my first thought...all parents have to do things that they are uncomfortable doing. We have to leave them on their first day of school, we eventually have to let go of the back of that bicycle, we have to hand them the car keys (and pray), and we have to let them drink so much that they never want a hangover like that again.
And sometimes, just sometimes, we have to sit in the hallway, face in our hands, bawling even harder than our child in her crib.
I've heard - and believe, to some extent - both sides of the argument. On one hand, there's the thought that leaving a child to cry on their own will traumatize the baby and cause feelings of abandonment. Others have the idea that allowing the baby to cry helps build self-soothing abilities.
As I said before, I have some beliefs on either side. Between what I've been told and my own experience, I've learned a few things:
a) Children need nurturing;
b) The younger they are, the faster they learn; and
c) Children are about as resilient as a Twinkie in a nuclear war.
Children do need at least some experience in self-soothing, and how much of that can they really get if Mommy picks him up at each little whimper? If a child doesn't learn how to self soothe, she won't be able to do it when she's older...and will be running in your room at 16 years old because of a thunderstorm...
Children also need to know that they're taken care of. They need
to know that when they cry out, their needs will be met. They need to feel cared for and loved.
This is where a parent's ability to discern comes in. A parent knows when their child is in need, and will always supply those needs. A parent also knows when their baby is being lazy or fighting sleep. During those times, there's not a single thing that anyone can do...except let the baby CRY IT OUT.
Of course, after a while, it's a good idea to check and make sure he didn't hit his head or anything. Plus, crying and screaming can really wear a kid out - hence why so many fall asleep. Try patting or rubbing her back for a couple minutes...and then leave. Let her learn to help herself. I know it sucks to listen to your helpless baby cry, but I promise, it's worth it.
Before I wrap this up, let me just say that the above applies to babies. In my opinion, once they become a toddler, crying it out isn't as good of an idea. They are continuously being independent and having to self-soothe: playing at a park without you by their side, playing alone in their room, laying in their bed alone in the dark while trying to get to sleep, tripping over their own feet and having to brush it off...the list is endless. When your toddler cries, she needs you. Cuddle her, love her, let her know she's safe, and ask her what's wrong. Ask what she needs.
He spends all day being pretty independent. Don't try to make him tough when he does need you. Just let him wrap his little arms around your neck, and remember that he won't be little for long.
Let me start with my first thought...all parents have to do things that they are uncomfortable doing. We have to leave them on their first day of school, we eventually have to let go of the back of that bicycle, we have to hand them the car keys (and pray), and we have to let them drink so much that they never want a hangover like that again.
And sometimes, just sometimes, we have to sit in the hallway, face in our hands, bawling even harder than our child in her crib.
I've heard - and believe, to some extent - both sides of the argument. On one hand, there's the thought that leaving a child to cry on their own will traumatize the baby and cause feelings of abandonment. Others have the idea that allowing the baby to cry helps build self-soothing abilities.
As I said before, I have some beliefs on either side. Between what I've been told and my own experience, I've learned a few things:
a) Children need nurturing;
b) The younger they are, the faster they learn; and
c) Children are about as resilient as a Twinkie in a nuclear war.
Children do need at least some experience in self-soothing, and how much of that can they really get if Mommy picks him up at each little whimper? If a child doesn't learn how to self soothe, she won't be able to do it when she's older...and will be running in your room at 16 years old because of a thunderstorm...
Children also need to know that they're taken care of. They need
to know that when they cry out, their needs will be met. They need to feel cared for and loved.
This is where a parent's ability to discern comes in. A parent knows when their child is in need, and will always supply those needs. A parent also knows when their baby is being lazy or fighting sleep. During those times, there's not a single thing that anyone can do...except let the baby CRY IT OUT.
Of course, after a while, it's a good idea to check and make sure he didn't hit his head or anything. Plus, crying and screaming can really wear a kid out - hence why so many fall asleep. Try patting or rubbing her back for a couple minutes...and then leave. Let her learn to help herself. I know it sucks to listen to your helpless baby cry, but I promise, it's worth it.
Before I wrap this up, let me just say that the above applies to babies. In my opinion, once they become a toddler, crying it out isn't as good of an idea. They are continuously being independent and having to self-soothe: playing at a park without you by their side, playing alone in their room, laying in their bed alone in the dark while trying to get to sleep, tripping over their own feet and having to brush it off...the list is endless. When your toddler cries, she needs you. Cuddle her, love her, let her know she's safe, and ask her what's wrong. Ask what she needs.
He spends all day being pretty independent. Don't try to make him tough when he does need you. Just let him wrap his little arms around your neck, and remember that he won't be little for long.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Reader Challenge!
This is actually post #2 for today, which is a little ironic because my previous post was a part 2...but anyway, I have a challenge for my readers:
Comment!
I know that seems simple and benign, but it would mean the world to me. I see that I get a +1 on each of my blogs. I have anywhere between four and sixteen views of different posts. I just want to get a feel for who is reading my stuff.
So, if you're not a chicken...and you have the bravery of Marty McFlyy, then comment. Your name, where you're reading from, who your favorite superhero is...I really don't care what you say. I would just like to know that it's not purely robots coming to my page on some automated thing.
Just let me know that people really care about what I say.
Challenge accepted?
Comment!
I know that seems simple and benign, but it would mean the world to me. I see that I get a +1 on each of my blogs. I have anywhere between four and sixteen views of different posts. I just want to get a feel for who is reading my stuff.
So, if you're not a chicken...and you have the bravery of Marty McFlyy, then comment. Your name, where you're reading from, who your favorite superhero is...I really don't care what you say. I would just like to know that it's not purely robots coming to my page on some automated thing.
Just let me know that people really care about what I say.
Challenge accepted?
Tips: SAHM Survival (Part 2)
Today, my guest blog came out for Mom Meet Mom! It's pretty awesome, actually. First, let me introduce you to the site that changed my life. On this site, moms get together and discuss anything and everything mom-related: tips for picky eaters, the best brand of baby strollers, tricks for nap time, etc. We also meet moms who live nearby with kids of similar ages and families of similar values and interests. Meet other SAHMs, other working moms, other single moms...anything you can imagine! It is the ultimate site for moms. You should definitely go check it out.
So, the guest blog of mine is about surviving being a SAHM without going crazy. I decided that I would make this blog a continuation, hence this being "Part 2."
Being a stay at home mom (or dad!) can be...tiring. And difficult to handle. Here are some MORE tips that I've learned along the way:
1. Shower at night. I have a tendency to worry about showering in the mornings or at nap time, for fear that my little one would wake up. Once she's knocked out for the night, though, I can take an hour long bubble bath if I want.
2. Be flexible. As a Type A personality, I'm extremely organized, a bit rigid, and don't deal well with change. That had to change once I became a mother. Yes, I still make daily schedules and plan educational activities for the next day, but if it rains overnight and we can't go the park as planned, my world doesn't crumble. If you're a Type A like me, consider making an "emergency list of activities," things to do on a rainy day or if money for the zoo had to be spent on an unexpected emergency. It's always good to have a back up plan.
3. This one might seem random but is super important: as a SAHM, you need to be prepared for car emergencies - especially if you're kiddo is in the car. Every car should have:
One or two heavy blankets - for the winter or rain in case your car won't start
First aid kit
Jumper cables
A working cell phone charger - you don't want to get stranded with a child and dead phone!
Extra pair of clothes for you - in case yours get dirty or torn from trying to fix something
Extra pair of clothes and extra diapers - in case you didn't pack enough in case of an emergency
Extra snacks - always have snacks; cranky kids usually quiet down with food
Seatbelt cutter - preferably 2, in separate locations, as it's doubtful that a crash would make both impossible to get to; seatbelt cutters aren't just for car accidents, kids can get wrapped up in seatbelts and every second matters
A spare tire, jack, tool to undo YOUR specific lugnuts, possibly even a small kit for tire problems, etc - because, well, duh.
Also, be sure you know how to use all of this stuff! If your other half is at work and can't get to you for a few hours, then sure, some guy may pull over to help, but with your baby? I would rather do it myself and not take that chance. Know how to change your tire, check your oil, and check your radiator fluid. Have your AAA phone number programmed into your phone. Know that Auto Zone does free diagnostics on your battery if you can get to one.
4. Make up games together. It can be fun for your little one to come home from a playdate and they teach you a game that he learned...but how awesome would it be if all of his friends' favorite game was one that the two of you made up together?!
5. Exercise. This may seem impossible, but it can be done! I think that this is especially important for SAHMs; exercise gives you a boost of endorphins - chemicals that make you feel happy - and can help fight off sadness, depression, postpartum depression, etc. Whether it's waking up thirty minutes early to do a little yoga, playing with your child at the park, dancing in the living room, or going on a family walk, every little bit helps!
So there you have it, folks. I may do more of these occasionally, just sharing a bit of knowledge as I learn along the way.
Since you're already online and have nothing better to do ;) go check out the original tips to surviving being a SAHM: Mom Meet Mom Blog
So, the guest blog of mine is about surviving being a SAHM without going crazy. I decided that I would make this blog a continuation, hence this being "Part 2."
Being a stay at home mom (or dad!) can be...tiring. And difficult to handle. Here are some MORE tips that I've learned along the way:
1. Shower at night. I have a tendency to worry about showering in the mornings or at nap time, for fear that my little one would wake up. Once she's knocked out for the night, though, I can take an hour long bubble bath if I want.
2. Be flexible. As a Type A personality, I'm extremely organized, a bit rigid, and don't deal well with change. That had to change once I became a mother. Yes, I still make daily schedules and plan educational activities for the next day, but if it rains overnight and we can't go the park as planned, my world doesn't crumble. If you're a Type A like me, consider making an "emergency list of activities," things to do on a rainy day or if money for the zoo had to be spent on an unexpected emergency. It's always good to have a back up plan.
3. This one might seem random but is super important: as a SAHM, you need to be prepared for car emergencies - especially if you're kiddo is in the car. Every car should have:
One or two heavy blankets - for the winter or rain in case your car won't start
First aid kit
Jumper cables
A working cell phone charger - you don't want to get stranded with a child and dead phone!
Extra pair of clothes for you - in case yours get dirty or torn from trying to fix something
Extra pair of clothes and extra diapers - in case you didn't pack enough in case of an emergency
Extra snacks - always have snacks; cranky kids usually quiet down with food
Seatbelt cutter - preferably 2, in separate locations, as it's doubtful that a crash would make both impossible to get to; seatbelt cutters aren't just for car accidents, kids can get wrapped up in seatbelts and every second matters
A spare tire, jack, tool to undo YOUR specific lugnuts, possibly even a small kit for tire problems, etc - because, well, duh.
Also, be sure you know how to use all of this stuff! If your other half is at work and can't get to you for a few hours, then sure, some guy may pull over to help, but with your baby? I would rather do it myself and not take that chance. Know how to change your tire, check your oil, and check your radiator fluid. Have your AAA phone number programmed into your phone. Know that Auto Zone does free diagnostics on your battery if you can get to one.
4. Make up games together. It can be fun for your little one to come home from a playdate and they teach you a game that he learned...but how awesome would it be if all of his friends' favorite game was one that the two of you made up together?!
5. Exercise. This may seem impossible, but it can be done! I think that this is especially important for SAHMs; exercise gives you a boost of endorphins - chemicals that make you feel happy - and can help fight off sadness, depression, postpartum depression, etc. Whether it's waking up thirty minutes early to do a little yoga, playing with your child at the park, dancing in the living room, or going on a family walk, every little bit helps!
So there you have it, folks. I may do more of these occasionally, just sharing a bit of knowledge as I learn along the way.
Since you're already online and have nothing better to do ;) go check out the original tips to surviving being a SAHM: Mom Meet Mom Blog
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